I'M 36 AND THAT'S OK....

accepting your age blog

It’s my birthday! Wooohooo!

I’m totally one of this girl’s who celebrates for days on end…I love my birthday and I don’t mind telling people just how old I am. Today I turn 36 years old. Sure, I have more wrinkles around my eyes than I'd like, I can't party the way I used to and my waist is definitely not the one I had at 23. But that's ok. Seriously, it's totally ok.

I realized several years ago that if I’m happy with where I am in life there’s nothing worth regretting. Every decision I’ve made, every unavoidable circumstance, all those things that were outside of my control got me to the exact place I’m standing right now and I appreciate and value each and every one…the people who have drifted in and out, opportunities that have passed me by, disappointments, horrific events coupled with joyous experiences, amazing breakthroughs and magical moments have made my life what it is. It looks nothing like pictured it would, but that’s ok…I wouldn’t change anything.

But let’s be real at 36 years old, after two kids, this body is not what it used to be, and guess what….that's ok too. My metabolism may be slower and gravity may not be my friend, but I have finally realized that there's no magic pill that will make me waist smaller or tone my arms, although I totally hope one day there is. The magic lies in eating real foods and eliminating the crap, everyone says that all the time but it hasn’t really sunk in until recently that I can’t house a box of Tagalongs without consequences. And that has changed the way I look and feel tremendously. Sure I miss ice cream and cookies and pasta as much anyone would and I do indulge when it's worth it but only when it's REALLY worth it. And I’ve also accepted that exercising is going to keep me feeling young, as much as I hate it. I put my sneakers on…I'd rather lie down. While I'm running…I want to quit. And that's ok because when I'm finished I feel like I did something...I really achieved something, and that's powerful.

My circle of friends has narrowed as the years have gone by. And that’s ok. My calendar is filled with client meetings, working, kid’s sporting events, school concerts, etc., and I’m lucky to say every now and then it features a “Ladies Night,” “Date Night,” or “Dinner with ____.” I may not have a ton of people who I call friends but the few that I do are some of the most important people in my life and admire and appreciate them for a thousand different reasons. I can’t stay up dancing in dark clubs into the early morning hours anymore and that’s ok, I wouldn’t trade dinner around a table laughing about god knows what with these people for anything.

At 36 years old nothing looks the way I planned but it all feels the way I imagined. When I thought about the future when I was in my early 20’s I wanted all of these different things that I thought would make me feel good, make me happy…and now, I feel good, I feel better than good but I have none of those things (except the man of my dreams)…not the job, not the apartment in the city, not the life I dreamed of…but I have the feeling that I wanted, happiness. So I can say with confidence, I win.